Do you feel like you are dying? like your heart is physically reaping itself apart shred by shred? You can’t get out of bed for days, constantly crying yourself to sleep? Guess what! It’s all okay, it gets better with time.
Dark, dirty, beautiful love! It will have you up at the most ungodly hours wondering why you were never good enough, why it had to be you or why it just couldn’t work out with your ‘soulmate’
Love! Romantic or not is mystical and magical. And nothing good ever comes easy. Love infiltrates the risks you never thought possible in the cosmos.
To love and let yourself be loved means allowing yourself to become vulnerable. Vulnerable to the possibility of being hurt or disappointed.
That horrid pain that comes from losing the person you had planned out your life with can be brutally devastating!
Pain is okay. If you are feeling pain after a breakup, you should be happy. Absurd!!! right? But yes! Feeling pain simply means that you are still human, that you are still optimistic, romantic and most importantly you still believe in love.
Mathew Hussey author of getting the Guy states that pain is a just a symptom for an underlying condition. But! Our perception of pain is what matters. The Pain of a failed relationship can be so intense that it makes you lose your drive or ambition or it can just be a lesson that helps you understand what you want in future Mathew Hussey.
The impacts of rejection can suck! Leaving you questioning your whole existence, assuming and concluding the reasons behind why your not so ‘significant other’ just up and left.
But being hurt by somebody you thought you would spend the rest of your life with is not the worst thing that could happen to you. Yes! I know this sounds far-fetched and inconsiderate. But there is more to life than wallowing over what you can’t control.
Being heartbroken is not the worst thing to happen to you. Not experiencing that deep gutter roll type of love is far worse.
To jumpstart your healing process, accept the pain. Own it! It is a natural human reaction to feel pain for losing something that meant so much to you. Acknowledging pain is essential in the process of healing a broken heart.
You might be feeling powerless, frustrated or devastatingly sad, but that is okay. Make these feelings your best friend. Allow yourself to feel all pain. It’s okay!
Show them kindness as noted in Health, this is a positive way of ensuring that you get a sense of stability and peace of mind. Crazy right? Showing kindness to your ex is almost close to impossible but it’s a necessity, it helps you let go of the pain, hurt and anger you feel towards this person.
If they apologize, accept the apology. Put yourself in their shoes and acknowledge that these people might have been in a different place emotionally hence the break-up and now the heartbreak. It will be hard, but it will help you to move forward.
Reconstructing your frame of thought is vital. Daily Mail notes that, reframing your line of thought from thinking the end of your relationship is your end to happiness. Instead, you can change this outcome and tweak it to your advantage.
Involve yourself in the things that you love doing. Aim to make progress or achieve goals, follow up in supporting that cause you believe in, concentrate on the important aspects of your life that will give you fulfillment and a sense of achievement notes Mathew Hussey. Including these activities in your life will help you understand that life matters and the sense of possibility generally.
Jot down whatever you are feeling, exactly the way it’s crossing your mind. Organize the thoughts and write them down.
Journal about the possible reasons you think the relationship ended, how it reached to that point and what you would have changed if given the chance. Go crazy! Whatever is running across your mind, journal it!
Writing your thoughts will help you understand your feelings and make sense of it. Better yet, you can write your thoughts in the form of a letter addressing it to your ex but never send it.
Health notes, that writing down your feelings and thoughts helps you discover some valuable insights such as what you might have missed in the relationship and what you hadn’t.
You will face denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance according to Huffington Post. Additionally,