Okay, so you have tried out a bazillion outfits, rehearsed the entire evening for days and finally, it’s here! your first date. Exciting? Totally. Nervous? Definitely.
Nailing the first date isn’t rocket science, but it may as well feel like it. nobody wants just a ‘meh’ first date, we want a spark, a connection with the person sitting right across us or at least something close to it.
We want this day to be just right if not perfect. Having a bad first date can be so devastating! Who would want to go on a date that just sizzles out, no connection, no spark, just nothing (kind of makes you wish you had stayed at home and binge-watched season 8 of GOT, right?).
How do you get ready?
- Pump-up your self-esteem: self-esteem goes a long way to make you confident as well as get rid of some of the jitters you may have.
- Exercising a couple of hours before helps one to remain calm and feel energized, just a brisk walk will do the trick.
- Crank up your favorite jams, dance or even sing along: this will help maintain your jitters and keep you keep calm and relaxed.
- You could also write down the things you are good at or like about yourself.
- Know why you are dating; is it just for fun to know if you still got it with the ladies or is it because you want are ready for committed relationship notes Susan winter in the elite magazine.
- While together with him/her, become a better listener and engage more with your date, this will help you learn more about the person.
- The golden rule or the secret to having a great time is to be yourself! If you want to completely ace the first date you have to be yourself, okay you might be tempted to be who you think your date might like but keep that front will be so hard, and lies tend to unravel…just be yourself.
Tips and what to do on a first date
First dates are really important: the secret to making it the most amazing experience is ensuring that
1. You are yourself
2. You create a shared experience
3. Choosing the venue
Remember, this is not an interview. So, make sure you communicate your ideas of what you consider to fun and both of you can come up with the ideal venue, where you can both have fun, be yourselves and enjoy the first encounter.
A dinner or coffee date is a big no-no, why? They give an interview vibe, instead choose places that will allow you to walk and talk.
A visit to the park or zoo or even the museum can be good first date ideas; one, you have ample of things to talk about, two, you will be creating fun memories and three, it’s a shared experience.
4. Prepare in advance
Pick the perfect outfit days before the D-day. Get your nails and hair done if you need to but just prepare in advance. Save yourself a Phoebe Buffay moment of having a closet full of clothes and still have nothing to wear.
The ‘fashionably late ‘notion do it on a second or other follow-up date if there will be any. Aim to make the best first impression.
Pick something that will make the day go wow! But at the same time not make you try too hard. Ladies, remember men are visual they will notice your effort.
5. Keep it short but sweet and comfortable
You want to look amazing, but this day isn’t the time to bring out your stilettos ladies or wear something that is to way too high. Choose something that you can comfortably walk, eat or breath in.
With all the jitters and butterflies, the last thing you need is to be uncomfortable in your clothes.
6. Don’t get too drunk
A little Dutch courage? Totally a winner to take the edge off. But don’t drink too much. Okay, so you got completely wasted and your date had to carry you or take you home? Hmm, chivalry may still exist but it doesn’t mean your date is into you. Know your limits.
5. Ask questions
Asking questions is a guaranteed way to ensure that the conversation flows and gives each person equal airtime.
To have the best conversation keep the topics general, talk about hobbies, family, work or sports if both of you are into sport. Eventually, if you two are up to it and comfortable with it, you can talk about more confrontational topics such as politics, religion and even, argh, exes.
6. Offer to at least go Dutch on the check
Okay, picking up the check on a first date is gentlemanly but offer to pick up the check or at least split it when it comes. But if he insists to take care of it, appreciate it and offer to buy him a hot dog or ice cream the next time.
7. Check out your date’s profile
Save yourself any unpleasant surprises like approaching the wrong person or even worse calling him/her by the wrong name. do your research before you go out to meet for the first time. Am not saying you stalk him/her because you might end up mentioning something you saw on his or her social media profiles that your date still hasn’t told you.
8. Be Positive
Body language can say a lot, work your best angles and some positive body language. Make and maintain eye contact or gently lean towards him/her when they are talking.
Even if you are having a shitty day or just received an appalling service at the restaurant, remain positive because this will alleviate the anxiety you may be having.
9. Be unpredictable
This is more similar to being yourself. Being predictable can get boring fast, so be unexpected, be sarcastic or silly if naturally, that’s how you are. Be unique and different from everyone else, be you notes Hunt Ethridge in elite magazine.
10. Communicate before the date to confirm the details
Break the ice, reduce butterflies and call him/her, make them excited to be going out with you. Communicate with him/her to confirm the details of your plans before your date notes Rachel Russo in elite magazine
11. Live in the moment
Yes, first dates are nerve-wracking but planning your whole life with this person when you have just met will make it worse.
Granted, your mind will wander off from time to time, especially if he/she has all the qualities you are looking for, it happens! But stay grounded in the present.
If topics about the future such marriage and children come up, let the man initiate the conversation, take the pressure off yourself notes e harmony. Again, you don’t want to turn this into a boring interview!
12. Have some fun, break the dating rules
If you feel like calling him, call. If you want to be the first to make a move, go right ahead- why not!
13. Be honest
Don’t put up a front. It’s so much work! You are human and not perfect, you are allowed to have your quirks. Let your date know. be straightforward.