The excitement of a first date … oh and the fear. Two emotions that one has while preparing for this date. This could be the beginning of a new chapter in love or it could be a disaster.
It could go smoothly or completely wrong. He or she may chew with their mouth open and with smirking sounds. They could turn out to be creepy or too nice or pretentious. I could go on and on but that’s not why we are here.
What do you get them on the first date? Should you even get them something? Whether a guy or lady, these questions run through your mind for several days before the date.
Do you need to buy a gift? It’s not a great idea because it may attract the wrong kind of people. This may lead the relationship to start in the wrong way but this does not mean you shouldn’t buy a gift.
If you see something interesting that reminds you of her or him buy it. Bring something small which doesn’t have to be expensive. It’s the thought that counts. You could deduce what kind of gift would please them from conversations you have heard. They may have told you they like watching a certain cartoon, or they love a certain songwriter. You can get them a figurine or t-shirt with the characters of these people.
The point is to show that you do pay attention to what they say. You are not doing this to impress them, no! You are not also trying to show them how rich you are, no! This will only make the relationship start on a false note or you could attract the wrong kind of people.
It’s advisable to leave the gifting on this day. It basically looks like you are trying to win their affection using material goods. Whatever gift you buy, no matter how small, says “please like me”. You should rather be presenting yourself as a high-value person who is evaluating them as much as they are you.
The gifting idea also makes the date look a lot formal. It may become awkward at some point due to the romance the gift symbolizes. You are just getting to know each other so … awkward! The gesture may be interpreted as a desperate, forced or awkward. Basically, what am saying is skip the gift, unless you are sure it will be appropriate for them and for the occasion.
Gifting can set you apart from others. It shows respect and enthusiasm for the date. We have to assume that this is not the first date they are going to so of course, they will be comparing you to other dates they have had in the past. If this is his or her first date, then they will be comparing you to either their mother or father. It’s not mean and you shouldn’t be worried about it. It’s just human nature. Trust me, you will be doing the comparing to.
The first date is about making wise choices and using actions, appearance, and words to show the other partner why they should choose you. You want to set yourself apart by increasing your chances of standing out from all others but for the right reasons.
To determine what kind of gift you bring on the first date, there are several considerations to make:
1. What gift do you bring to the first meeting?
This means you have never met them. In this case, the gift for her or him should be based on chats or conversations you have had with email, social media or text. There must be something you discussed that made you think, ‘you know what, I want to meet this person.’ For example, you may have discussed or recommended to each other movies or books. Maybe you both share the love for a certain author and how he crafts his stories. Bring her a book by them that they haven’t read. If maybe she talked about loving to visit Paris in the future, bring her a guidebook to Paris. If you both love sports, bring him a shirt or jersey from a team he loves.
What gift do you bring to someone you have already met?
Where did you meet? What were they doing at the time? Choose a gift based on that meeting. For example, get him coffee from that coffee shop you bumped into each other. The trick is to be gracious, clever and thoughtful.
If you have to bring a gift on the first date, here are some ideas:
Do not gift something that they already have or something they can easily get access to. Be original. For example, if you are from different countries, bring her something that can only be found in your country. Be creative and imaginative.
Find out your partner’s interest. Buy them something small, inexpensive and that rhymes with their interests. Make sure they don’t have that thing already. Recall things she or he has mentioned in your conversations. Maybe something she adores or would love to own, some book he looks forward to reading, some song he loves listening to, etc. This will show that you are attentive. This small and significant presents will have a more emotional impact than any expensive gift you get.
Pay attention to any hints they may leave you unconsciously or not about things they would love to own. The best gift for the first date should show that you care.
Avoid being intimate or corny
Your aim is to impress them not scare them off. For example, don’t buy lingerie for your date if you are a man. It’s too early. Girls, no boxer shorts or briefs either on the first date. This can be given when the relationship gets more serious. Also, avoid going overboard and using the gift to declare your undying love. Girls, no “I love you” decorations on the gift box. You could scare the guy off, especially if he is not into such things. He may also think you to be the clingy type and run!
Do it yourself
Avoid material things. Something you do yourself will make a big impact. For example, you can make him a digital collection of songs from a singer he said he liked. You could write a poem or draw a painting regardless of your skill or talent level.
Bring a single flower on the first date. This will make you avoid coming on too strong. A single flower as a gift for her will be really sweet plus it’s a no strings attached kind of gift. Avoid red roses though as they may be so intimate. You can also do one better by finding out what kind of flowers she loves and bring her those. If you don’t know her favorite color, then choose a color that shows where you want the relationship to kick off: yellow flowers mean friendship, white means purity and red for love.
Chocolates are a good gift for her. Who doesn’t love chocolate? Buy a small box of high-end chocolates. Avoid cheap chocolates as this may be a tacky move. Also, avoid going overboard as this could backfire. Be modest.
Most women love to cuddle teddy bears but not all. Find out if she does before purchasing, in case she is not into teddy bears or is allergic to the fur. Do not go all enormous and bring a huge teddy bear. Find a cute, small and simply designed teddy. Avoid those with insinuating decorations like ‘I love you’.
Wine as a gift is classic. Wine can be used for all occasions and is a neutral present. Buy some expensive (not too expensive) wine and avoid pressuring them to open it during the date. Unless of course, they volunteer to.
Avoid anything too expensive or too huge. Go for something small so that you don’t come off as desperate. A bracelet or necklace is a great first date gift. Avoid fancy gemstones.
If she loves reading, a book would be a great gift especially one she has been dying to read. Avoid political or controversial literature.
These are not for everyone but it’s a small gift that’s light and cheap. It’s a thoughtful gift. If you don’t know how to make one, look up patterns online. You could fold up a flower or something she would love.
Spa gift certificate
Give her a gift that will have her remembering you for the rest of her life. It’s an elegant way to show your emotions and she will definitely get to enjoy herself.
Give this as a parting gift after your first date. Don’t make her carry it all evening. You could also send it the following day to show that you had a wonderful evening. It creates a great first impression especially if you are picking up your date from home. Then you can either leave the basket at her house or with her parents.
Pay for dinner
Traditionally, on this day, men are expected to pay for dinner but times have changed. Insist on paying before you are even asked. If she wants to pay, offer to split the bill.
Tickets to an event
You can buy him tickets to either a sporting event, concert or show. Do not insist on going with him. Just tell him to take whoever he wants to. If he picks you then, yeeeah! It’s best to give them at the end of the date after you’ve determined whether the relationship has a future.
A good collection of music he loves in a CD or digital music is a perfect gift for him. It shows that you are attentive plus music has a way of speaking words we cannot say out loud.
Homemade unique crafts or gifts
Use your talents to create the best gift for a boyfriend on the first date. Some homemade crafts will illustrate your true feelings.
What to give on a first date can be a bit tricky. Make sure the gift you choose makes you appear interested but not too needy. The gift-giving sets you apart by showing that you are thoughtful and considerate. If you are having trouble remembering what they love, cheat a little by going back to conversations you had on emails or chats. Go ahead and check their social media accounts for hints on what they may love.
Most important of all, however, be confident. Trust me, your date is also as nervous as you are. What to do, what not to do on a first date always scares the hell out of everyone. If you are not confident, then everything could go wrong. Fake it till you make it. All the best on your first date!