Do you care so much? Is it normal or do you feel as if you are having a problem? Research has shown that people who care so much are rarely happy. In most cases, they suffer numerous disappoints.
Caring can be looked at in two ways; caring about others and things or about what others think and feel about you. However, the effects of the two are almost similar. Since it is likely to get you disappointed, this post looks at essential ways and tips on how to stop caring.
When you care too much, you will end up wasting so much energy and time. At the same time, you not gain anything by giving yourself that unnecessary bother.
Although itis normal and humane, there are times, either we care too much or about things that shouldn’t be bothering us.
Why do we care?
According to Pandagossips.com, caring for someone shows that you are human. It is a sign of love. We care about others simply because we have emotional attachments with them. yes, even animals exist based on love.
You will agree with me that it’s hard to live as if you don’t care. In this life, we are surrounded by friends, children, spouses, extended family and workmates among other people. Can you just ignore their existence and live as if they do not exist?
Apart from caring about people, we also spend a lot of energy caring about issues and things. We all care about where we live, what we eat, how to get money, how to sustain our families and how to excel in life among other things. Is this normal?
Yes, it is. However, human beings tend to overdo things. Therefore, we overdo the ‘caring.’ How many times do you get sleepless nights just because of your job? How many times do you feel depressed because of what someone said about you? How many times did you get stressed up simply because your mom or dad was unwell? This is too much.
Many health complications, such as diabetes, blood pressure, depression, stroke, heart attacks and ulcers are as a result of excessive anxiety, concern, and worry. The big question is; how do you stop? I mean, can you control how much you care?
Many people care to point that they forget about themselves. To me, this isn’t love, it is something else. Many people in the world are seeking to be perfect simply because of the care about what other people feel about them.
If you are the one being discussed in this article, then I guess frustration has been your daily dosage. It is, therefore, about time you put your life first and draw a boundary between what to care about and what not to.
How to stop caring
According to Medium.com, you can achieve optimum happiness only if you manage how much you care. Just have a look at your life and make a U-turn in a move aimed at reducing mental stress and enhance peace and happiness.
Below are essentials that will enable you to stop caring:
Outline the things that get you worked Out
This entails listing. Take a pen and paper and list the things that you really care about. To do this, you need to be honest with yourself. These things can take various forms such as:
- Your nuclear family
- Your extended family
- Your job
- Your friends
- Daily chores
- A spouse
- What people think about you
- Life and death
- Financial sustainability
These are things we all care about. How much time and energy do you spend thinking about each one of the above issues? Do you think that you are caring too much? How do you stop it without appearing careless, senseless or inhumane?
There are things that you involuntarily find yourself caring about. According to Paidtoexist.com on the secret to happiness, choose the things to not give a damn to. This takes us to our second essential way.
Outline the things not to care about
Out of the first list, make two categories. One should consist of the things that you MUST care about while the second one should contain the things that you will stop caring about. In the current situation you can make the two categories as follows:
The things you MUST be concerned with include:
- Nuclear family
- Financial stability
The things you shouldn’t care so much about include:
- Your extended family
- Your job
- What others think about you
- Life and death
With such a list, you can now divert your energy from things that earlier gave you sleepless nights. Even, with the things you must care about, don’t overdo it.
Don’t worry about things that you can’t change
Some things are beyond your control. For example, you can’t waste your time thinking about life and death. Can you control them?
If you don’t have money, caring won’t bring you even a single coin. If your relative dies, stressing yourself won’t bring him back. If someone is sick, worrying won’t make him well. If someone hates you working yourself out won’t make him love you.
What are we saying? You should only care about things that you have control over. Stop wasting time and energy chasing wind or smoke. You will end up empty and frustrated.
Don’t care about people who neither reciprocated to you or themselves
This sounds rude but there are people who don’t deserve our care. No matter how much you try to show them you do, they will never appreciate it. What makes it worse is the fact that such people may not even care about themselves.
For example, stop caring about a spouse who rarely reciprocates. It is a waste of time. Furthermore, stop being much concerned about a drug addict relative who is doing very little to quit drugs. Additionally, stop worrying about that jobless brother or sister who lazily sleeps the whole day without looking for a job.
Paidtoexist.com highlights that being happy calls for us to ignore some people, no matter how close they are to us. In fact, people who close to our hearts are the main source of our unhappiness.
Don’t care when things don’t work out
Don’t be a perfectionist. Things will not always work out. There are times when things go wrong, even after working extremely hard. If you do your best, you shouldn’t hang yourself simply because things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to be.
Healthyplace.com notes that being a perfectionist makes you care so much about everything. This when it is excessive works against your mental health and self-esteem
The following tips can help you in developing a ‘don’t care’ attitude towards life:
- Just understand that seeking to do everything right always is a problem.
- Don’t be realistic when setting your goals. Instead, set achievable goals.
- Instead of criticizing yourself when you fail, identify and appreciate any positive attribute that you have.
- Just love yourself the way you are
- Take mistakes and failures as significant life lessons
- Consider yourself unique
With these tips, celebrate the small successes you identify in your life. Laugh out minor mistakes instead of crucifying yourself. Understand that you are human, and mistakes are part of life.
Stop caring about what other people think
Caring about what other people think about you will do you more harm than good. The end results are frustration, low self-esteem, inadequacy, inferiority complex and you lose your self-worth.
Generally, people will always make you feel inadequate. Some do it deliberately while to others it is unintentional. You should, therefore, stop caring what others think or feel about you. Chicagotribute.com notes that people are always watching and criticizing. You may not stop them from doing so but you can stop yourself from caring about their views and opinions towards you.
One of the best ways on how to not care what others think is to build your self-esteem. Low self-esteem is dangerous. It lowers your confidence and makes you feel guilty for things you didn’t do. Furthermore, one feels worthless and undeserving of peace and happiness.
To help improve your self-esteem, the following tips can help one in building self-esteem:
- List and work on anything that undermines your self-esteem
- Keep of negative self-talk
- Keep off people who always make you feel inadequate
- Stick to your principles and don’t allow others to sway to decisions
- Focus on the positive things about yourself
- Don’t give people a chance to criticize you by constantly taking good care of yourself.
If your self-esteem is boosted, you will rarely bother yourself with what people think about you. You will develop a sense of self-worth and appreciate your weaknesses.
Article Citations and References
- Thoughtcatalog.com How To Stop Caring So Much
- Medium.com How to Stop Caring So Much
- Pandagossips.com How To Stop Caring So Much About Everything And Live Your Life
- Paidtoexist.com The Secret to Happiness: Stop Caring
- Chicagotribune.com 9 tips to stop caring what others think
- Healthyplace.com How to Stop Being a Perfectionist
- Mind.org.uk How to increase your self-esteem